#HealtheHurt Day 4 - Acceptance

Hey guys! I know I haven't blogged in a little minute and I'm sorry! I've had an eventful and busy weekend. My family has an annual luau and that was this past Saturday. Now that the main event of my summer is over, it gives me more time to devote to my thoughts and my healing process. Still outraged by the events occurring in my country, it was nice to take a breather and enjoy some leisure time with my family and friends. I always try to invite new people I've connected with, but God shows me who is actually down for me and who isn't.

I took a moment to catch up on my ghetto stereotypical television today...namely Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. I know I know...what am I, a conscious woman, doing watching that crap? Well...I enjoy the bullshit...and I know I need to stop indulging and making their ratings go up. It's like the stupid ghetto fights I used to watch. I guess when I'm truly over it, I will be. But that's not why I brought it up anyway! Waka Flocka's wife Tammy...to see that hurt in her eyes and hear the pain in her voice made me breakdown. I know that feeling all too well. It was also very heartbreaking to see Deb breakdown for their marriage as well. Sometimes you just cant help but feel like it's your fault when things fall apart but we MUST realize that there are two people in every relationship. Whether a friendship, or partnership, there are two people involved who have to be just as committed as each other to make it work. It just sucks to know that so many men seem to have lost the true meaning of working for their relationships.

I've met a lot of males who think that there is no need to date or romance their partner after getting married and it just baffles my mind. I've also met a lot of males who think a woman should just be submissive regardless of her treatment or expectations from her husband and/or partner. The main point of courting (dating for you 90's babies) a female is to show her your qualities and why she should choose you over any other males who may be showing interest. It is supposed to continue because it shows your woman how appreciative and in love you STILL are. Now this doesn't just go for the males... us women must also remember to always encourage and support our men...take THEM out on dates. These things go HAND IN HAND.

I always seem to find myself back in the place I said I wouldn't be, and this time isn't any different. BUT this time I have realized that a few hours of "bliss" doesn't excuse the years of unhappiness and abuse. I hate that my husband doesn't get it. I hate that there is a part of me that still feels like he will. I hate that there is a part of me that will never let go. I've just learned that I need to love him from a distance...regardless of how much it sucks to me, it's ME who I am protecting.

-Yoshi